The Bucket List
by JMHaughey
Summary: 26 items on Tony's Bucket List - The thought process behind the list.
1. Number 1

**A/N: Tony's Bucket List from this season intrigued me. So I'm adding my spin on the meanings behind them.**

**Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing**

oOo

**Master the art of Kung Fu.**

Yeah, yeah. I'm a Buckeye, I can do this. Really. I signed up to take some Kung Fu classes because if I'm going to take this Bucket List seriously, I have to start somewhere. And no, I didn't just watch movies like _The __Matrix _or _Kill __Bill _over the weekend and think I'm a master. Maybe, the old DiNozzo would do that, not me. Who knows when this special skill would come in handy at a crime scene - Ziva has the crazy ninja moves, Gibbs has the fighting moves, McLightweight has a gun and I will have Kung Fu.

oOo

When Ziva came over for movie night, I was walking a little slower, using muscles I forgot existed. I answered the door wincing in pain, obviously trying not to let Ziva know.

"Tony, why are walking like that?"

"Like what?"

"You are dawdling."

"It's waddling. It's allowed, I'm in pain. I had my first fight tonight at Kung Fu."

"You are actually doing that – taking a class, we thought you were kidding."

"No Zee-vah, I wasn't. . . it's on my bucket list."

"What else is on there?"

"You'll just have to wait and see."

oOo

_To be continued. . ._


	2. Number 2

**Drive a 1965 Aston Martin DB5 like the one in __Goldfinger__.**

I only have two options. Really.

1.) Go to The Netherlands and look at the car in a museum _or_

2.) Contact the owner who bought the car at auction and tell him it's pivotal to national security, I examine it and drive it. (Though I don't think Gibbs or the Director will like that. Sometimes, you have to change the cirsumstances.)

I imagine when I drive it, the windows will be down, the wind will be floating throught our hair and I'll be sitting next to the girl I love who will be holding my hand and laughing.

It's one of the most famous cars from the movie. Of course, Connery would have the chance to drive this car first. He's the epitome of the Bond franchise. This car is a legend. It has been in later movies as well; _Thunderball_, _GoldenEye_, _Tomorrow __Never __Dies_, and _Casino __Royale_. Someday.

DiNozzo. Anthony DiNozzo.


	3. Number 3

**A/N: Thank you ALL for the reviews and alerts, it's means a lot. **

**Discover the meaning of life.**

In this job, we investigate and defeat criminal, foreign, and terrorist intelligence threats to the United States Navy and Marine Corps, wherever they operate: ashore, afloat, or in cyberspace. This job can pull and push someone to the edge. Most cases we have involve a death. Digging around in people's lives, searching for the truth - that doesn't happen over night. It takes time. Sometimes the questions never get answers. You just move on because another case is sure to follow.

I've grown up (a little) in the last couple years. It may not seem like it, but I have. Everyone has a different opinion on the meaning life. Sure, I would love to be able to watch a movie and have it figured out. Unfortunately, that's not the way it works.

Whether they like it or not, my team is my family. They are stuck with me through the good and bad. I have their backs and they have mine. We don't take no for an answer. (I might but the Boss Man doesn't.)

Discovering the meaning life took me time to figure out but it's really simple, actually. Sure, I could've been a old man, still single, sitting bathrobed in a recliner, watching movies until the end of time.

Luckily, I'm not.

Surround yourself with people you can't live without. The people who love you just as you are. The people who headslap you when you say something stupid. The people who watch movies with you. The people who pretend to be sidekicks when you know you are equals. The people who protect you and defend you.

And hold onto the one person who stands beside you, ready to break the rules because the benefits outweigh the consequences.


	4. Number 4

**Catch a shark.**

I've caught loan sharks, card sharks, and pool sharks. So, why the hell would I want to catch a real shark? Easy, because I can. (Well, I hope I can.) I have seen the crazy YouTube videos. I've googled it. I'm in shape. I can rent equipment. And I've seen _Shark __Week._

A vacation to South Carolina or Florida would work. I'd have to do it on a weekend because Gibbs would say no to whole week. McGee's incessant need to tell me it's dangerous won't deter me; it's one more reason why I am the Senior Field Agent. Ducky would just give me statistics about deaths caused by sharks. Oh, well.

I would pester Ziva to come with me. Eventually, I'd wear her down because that's what I usually do. She'd probably want to witness me getting bit by a shark. Whatever. A weekend away, could do us some good. A break from the reality around us, nothing but sun and drinks. Of course, Ziva could just stare at a shark and it would do what she wanted.

I just want to catch it then I'd release it because what would I do with a stuffed shark. Maybe that can Ziva's birthday gift. Decisions. Decisions.


	5. Number 5

**Date a Bond girl and/or Miss Universe.**

Honey Ryder is the quintessential Bond girl. Some credit her as the first. When we are introduced to her in _Dr. __No,_ she emerges from the water with two large sea shells, in a white bikini, her wet blonde hair catches the sunlight just so. It's one of the most popular scenes in cinematic history. But in order for this to work I need a time machine. And they don't exist so I'll go with the next best thing.

Vesper Lynd from _Casino __Royale. _Vesper pulls no punches; even though she's a double agent, she does what's best for Bond. In her past - a lover dies, she takes his place, and she's held hostage. But Bond never gives up and continues to follow her. She believes she's doing this right thing; she was blindly following orders. Vesper realizes it too late and she's gone.

In the history of this franchise, she is the second girl that Bond actually falls in love with and risks everything for as well as the only girl to be featured in two movies.

As I think more about this, I have my own version of a Bond girl (technically, a DiNozzo girl – potato, po-tat-o) sitting right across from me, the former Mossad Liasion Officer turned Probationary Special Agent Ziva David. But she knows my infatution for Vesper, so it's alright.

The question is: which one would win in a fight for me?

_**Thanks for reading and the reviews. . . **_


	6. Number 6

**Ride in a motorcycle ball of death.**

Seriously, riding a motorcycle around in the big steel ball going around and around in circles is appealing. Relying solely on coordination and gravitational pull. And when I stop to think about it may be the most nauseating thing on this list, but that's why it's here. Sure, it's similar to a hamster running around the wheel in it's cage. You know, minus the motorcycle. (Though I wonder if a hamster could go on a toy bike. Okay, no cruelty - just curiosity.)

I want my outfit, helmet and bike to be painted like 60's Evel Knievel's; white leathers with three stars on right chest and stripes down leg. . .

The ninja just rolls her eyes when I talk about this. I told her she could have her own motorcycle ball of death but she said she's been in worse situations and it may make her sick. Right? I don't buy that. McScaredyCat said he does not want to die in a metal cage. Boss just says it's stupid and if I wanted to, he can think of more nauseating things for me to do. I said like what get married like you? He did not find that funny.

Think of how epic it would be. Surviving is a much better option. So, I must stay positive and cheat death again. I must have nine lives. I wonder how many I have left.


	7. Number 7

**Write letter to Roger Ebert re: his reviews of __Full ____Metal ____Jacket__ and __Benji ___the __Hunted._**

Dear Mr. Ebert, (Can I call you Roger?)

I am writing to you because I disagree with your review of _Full __Metal __Jacket _and _Benji __the __Hunted. _

I wonder if we watched the same movie. Did you only watch it once and form this opinion? Like all Kubrick films, several viewings are advised. Kubrick had a movie vision different from any other. Clearly, what you consider a ferociously consistent vision differs from that of the director. I know you have seen other films of his.

Who cares if the movie was shot in England rather than Vietnam - I have to say this movie rivals _Platoon, __Apocalypse __Now, _and _The __Deer __Hunter _for the illustrating a behind the scenes look at Vietnam. This movie is supposed to be a dark comedy. Maybe, you missed that. It's alright, it happens.

Roger, maybe you find fault with this as you said you can only watch so much footage of a man crouched behind a barrier, pinned down by sniper fire, before the situation turns into a cinematic cliche. . . Have seen a battlefield other than those portrayed throughout movies? Because in war, that's what happens, all the crouching and sniper fire, call it cliche if you want but men and women risk their lives for our freedoms.

Like all movies, characters are brought in to fulfill a purpose. . . After the departure of his two most memorable characters, the sergeant and the tubby kid, he is left with no characters that we really care much about. And in a key scene at the end, when a marine feels joy after finally killing someone, the payoff is diminished because we don't give a damn about the character. . . Whether or not, you know what the purpose is; the director does, the screenwriter does, and eventually the audience does to. We may not like it but we are just here to watch it and enjoy it.

It's a piece of cinematic history and you are wrong to not think so.

As for _Benji __the __Hunted, _it must of warmed your heart when Benji cuddled the tiger cubs. Also, if I wanted to see a film based on the nature photography, I'd watch a documentary, thanks. Based on the that _Benji _doesn't warrant a thumbs up.

Sincerely,

Anthony DiNozzo

_**This may have been the most difficult Bucket List number. . . Thanks for all the reviews and alerts. I appreciate it! **_


	8. Number 8

**A/N - Lack computer, sorry for the delay. :) Enjoy! **

**Develop a catch phrase.**

I suppose that research and development takes time. Of course, the best are already taken.

When Rick says to Isla, "Here's looking at you, kid." or Rhett Butler says, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."; Then there are the Terminator quotes, "I'll be back." and "Hasta la vista, baby." Knowing Gibbs I'd get headslapped for saying any of them. Especially, "You talkin' to me?" or "Go ahead, make my day." - with this I'd have to make sure I have the Dirty Harry raspiness or else it's not with repeating.

oOo

"DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, Boss."

"You done?"

I cough. "Umm. No."

"So, you're just gonna stand there and daydream."

I cough again. "Nope."

"With McGee, go interview the family."

"_On it, Boss."_

oOo

Then it hit me, I've been saying _On __it, __Boss _for almost 10 years. I've been testing out catch phrases and I've had this gem in my back pocket the whole time.

I'm going to reap the benefits of this catch phrase copyright rule from McGee and Zeevah. I'm instituting it right now. They are going to owe me big time. Nice.

oOo

"McGee, I have a new rule. You use my catch phrase, you pay."

"Really, Tony? That's ridiculous."

Boss Man interrupts our conversation, "Find anything?"

"Yes, all members were at a restaurant together for a seven o'clock reservation."

"See if anyone disappeared for a few minutes."

McEager spoke up. "On it, Boss."

"You owe me five bucks."

"Really, that's your phrase? On it, Boss."

"Price just went up to ten."

"This is going to fun."

_**Thanks again for reading! **_


	9. Number 9

**The luge. **

The luge is the fastest and most dangerous of the three Olympic sliding sports. Being the athlete I am, I can see that this may take some time as I hone my skills. Obviously, I'm not going to buy all the equipment but I think the suit can serve a dual purpose. Can you say, 'next year's Halloween costume'? It may be the best yet.

I have two options. I can head to Lake Placid, New York or Park City, Utah for the luge. I think that Park City is a better option because _Sundance __Film __Festival_ is held there. By the way, there are no films about luge teams. _Canadian __Bacon_ is about bobsleigh. Untapped market. Anyways, I have some vacation time to take; a vacation surrounded by up and coming movies, some destined for cinematic history. My kind of party.

oOo

"Ziva, you'll come?"

"Tony, you really think Gibbs will let us both be gone for ten days?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask him. We've been out of the office together before. I get it, you just don't want to go with me."

"I'm not going to watch you kill yourself on that sled."

"It's the luge. And I won't because there are unseen movies around me."

"I suppose I have no choice now. I must go. Someone has to witness this stupidity."

"Not mention me in a skintight body suit."

"Did you want me to throwup while I eat this popcorn?"

"I know all you really care about is what's underneath."

"If you say so."


	10. Number 10

**Tell Dad it's okay.**

It's funny that people think I make up stories about my childhood. I don't. Every story is true. My father marches to the beat of his own drum. Always trying to make more money, even when he had none. Always trying to woo the ladies. Always drinking. I know in his own way, he loved my mother. I know in his own he loves me. I have to credit him for my love of movies, though because if he hadn't out galvanting maybe we would have more quality time meaning less time for movies. For that, I wouldn't change it.

oOo

"Want an apron?" Boss Man asked. Like I really had a choice. Dad was holding the turkey gizzard asking me to do something with it. What? I went for the trash barrel. Ugh, that's why I don't cook.

Of course, Gibbs would let Dad stay with him. That was fine, I guess. I think I'm going to need some bourbon. Gibbs has it around here somewhere.

"Sure." I responded. Gibbs reappeared with one pretty quickly. Then he went back to looking over his bills or whatever he was doing when I got there.

"So, make yourself comfortable, Junior. We are cooking an entire feast? Do you cook a lot?"

"Why? Thanksgiving is Thursday. Me cook? Not too much. I use the microwave. I have some numbers on speed dial or I go out and sometimes Ziva cooks."

"And how are you Ziva not involved yet?"

"Dad, I don't want to talk about that?"

"Like I said before, you better come to your senses soon."

"I heard you the first time."

"Alright." Dad was brining the turkey. The stovetop had a pot boiling with potatoes.

"Dad, I just want to tell you that it's okay."

"What is?"

"Us. Since you heard everything before, I wanted to tell you I will always to my best to protect you but you need to start taking better care of yourself."

"I know."

"Do you? You need to stop this pretending. You're living in fantasy world."

"What do you want from me?"

"Nothing, Dad." I shook my head. "I've been taking care of myself for a long time."

**_Thanks for reading. _**


	11. Number 11

**A/N: I appreciate all the reviews and alerts. Sorry for the delays in posting – those pesky holidays getting in the way.**

**Watch all Hitchcock films in order of release **

**(including both versions of __The Man Who Knew Too Much__), pausing only for bathroom breaks.**

This takes time and planning. I estimated 2 hours for each movie, knowing that some movies are only hour, I want to give myself a cushion. There are 66 films – 67 including the other version of _The Man Who Knew Too Much – _my math skills aren't great but I think it would take me about 5 days to get through all this.

I've arranged for my meals to be delivered by McSidekick and Ziva. Abby said she pick a couple movies to watch with me, too.

Plus, I've even talked Gibbs into bringing me some to eat by charming him with the 1959 classic, _North by Northwest _with Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint. I knew Gibbs would identify with Roger being mistaken for a government agent by a group of foreign spies, and is pursued across the country while he looks for a way to survive. I know this favor can be redeemed at anytime – that's what scares me.

We were eating Thai food the Boss Man apparently cooked up when this conversation happened on the television.

"_What happened with your first two marriages? _

_"My wives divorced me."_

_"Why?"_

_"They said I led a dull life."_

I couldn't help myself when I said, "Boss Man, you have something in common."

"That right, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, you know the whole marriage thing . . .but I don't agree with you leading a dull life. With four wives, that's the opposite of dull. . . "

"DiNozzo. . .will you shutup so we can watch this?"

"Zipping it, Boss."


	12. Number 12

**A/N: I've learned A LOT about movies for this entire fic – it's been fun!**

**Experience a Wonder of the World (besides Gibbs).**

"Tony, don't be ridiculous."

"Just press play, Zee-vah."

"We are at the Colosseum and you want to recite something from a movie."

"It's not just a movie. It's epic. Russell Crowe in his Oscar winning performance - along with Joaquin Phoenix and Connie Nielsen. It was influenced by some 1960's films perhaps you've heard of them; _The Fall of the Roman Empire _and _Spartacus _and _Ben-Hur. _Tell me you've seen them?"

"If I do, will you believe me?"

"Tsk, tsk. I'm disappointed."

"Oh, stop. Are you ready for your close-up? Pressing play now. . . and action."

"_My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."_

"And cut! Got it. I think this take is the one."

"Are you sure?"

"I have recorded you 17 times, Tony. _They. Are. All. The. Same. _Enough of this. There is more exploring to do. You did say you wanted me teach you how to ask for a cappuccino. Let's go work on that."

"Uno cappuccino per favore."

"Gah, we have more work to do."


	13. Number 13

**A/N: HALF WAY! **

**Learn to play the bass.**

Oh, the bass guitar. A fine stringed instrument I have been wanting to learn to play ever since my mother signed me up for piano lessons. I had to press those ivory keys every Tuesday and Thursday for a year. A year – that's a long time in a boy's life. It does serious damage. Every time, I hear 'Chopsticks' or 'Für Elise', I cringe and I think of the the old woman who smell liked fried chicken teaching me while sharing a small the piano bench. I bet McGee played piano and liked it.

Then I think of when Timmy and I did our guitar moves, mine was superior. I have the look and feel. The bass brings the harmonic framework and lays down the beat, mostly in collaboration with the drummer. Sometimes depending on what type of band the bass is featured, it can be in the background or it can be prominent. I bring the crazy band of NCIS-ers together. (Well, besides, you know the Boss Man, being the leader.)

I wonder if I could share the stage with Adam Clayton or Flea. Maybe they can teach me. (I'm designing my pick, right now.) And, now to McYellowPages so he can find their numbers. . .


	14. Number 14

**Kick McGee's butt at some video game.**

I found it.

The one game I can guarantee McGee will not win.

The Elf Lord can have all the online games he wants. You have to wonder how he can stare at his computer screen, much smaller than my television screen by the way, only to go home to sit and play games online. The Elf Lord must have come with some special powers or something - I don't know, I don't get it.

While he sits at his computer at home, I prefer to watch movies. I take my knowledge of the classics and tell those around me. You know when you'll need a point of reference. Okay, maybe I do. It provides me with some witty repartee while dealing with a job like this; the death, the crime, the investigating. (Though this is why I do what I do.)

oOo

A quick stop at the store for essentials and off to the festivities.

I knock on the door.

"Tony," McGee says as opens the door. "Are you ready?"

"Pffft. . . yeah, I'm going to kick your butt." I hold up the _Scene It? Mega Movies _along with the beer.

"I've taken some lessons from Professor DiNozzo's film class."

"You still have much to learn, McProtégé"

* * *

><p><strong>Professor DiNozzo's film class is a category from the NCIS Guide Book from jelenamichel. <strong>


	15. Number 15

**Happy New Year!**

* * *

><p><strong>Create DiNozzo coat of arms.<strong>

Animals are the first things you think of when figuring out a coat of arms. Of course, I had to do a little research about what animal best represent the essence of Anthony D. DiNozzo and those who came before. (But really, I picked what I thought.) My first choice, obviously, was the lion – bravery, strength and valor. Second, the eagle with all that ingeniuty and quick-wittedness. Sure, but there is more here so I went with the elephant – first off, I carry a big presence. Second, I have showed great strength (the whole plague thing, getting shot at) wit, longevity, happiness (My family is here), good luck, and ambition (I find things that were taken from me). My crest will have elephants as supporters.

As for the charge, an ordinary label (a horizontal strap with three pendants hanging down). It's a nod to my mother's family in England. In the label will have a quatrefoil, in honor the Marines' family we serve and a nod to Gibbs. I think it will look great upon a field of blue (truth and loyalty). I mean, we do investigate crimes in the Navy, too. As a nod to my father, a garb of wheat. (Think what you want. The man does like his drink – that's what I know.)

Gah! This coat of arms thing was more way more complicated than I thought. A lot of thinking going on, right now. I wonder if I could get a old film canister on there – bet that'll be a first.

One last thing, the motto.

_Semper Fidelis. _

Always faithful.

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know what was more difficult this or Number 7.<strong>

**Thank you for reading and the reviews. Loving what you think. **


	16. Number 16

**Ride a Ferris wheel naked. (oops…did that already)**

Ohio State Fair.

Pledging Alpha Kai Delta.

Drinking.

Ferris wheel with Lindsay Darby.

Naked.

Cold seat.

No luck.


	17. Number 17

**Get and pass on Gibbs' recipe for steak.**

Gibbs' diet consists mostly of coffee; but when he actually eats something it's usually cans of beans, cheeseburgers, cereal, leftovers from the office, and the occasional home cooked meal whether he cooks it or it's prepared by Ziva or Ducky. Sometimes, we head out for a night on the town. (We haven't done that in awhile. Hmm. . . I could go for some good Italian.)

I've tried different steak rubs, marinades, cuts and cooking temperatures but my steak never tastes like Gibbs. I don't know why I never asked him. I know what the Boss Man leads a pretty simple life. Maybe he adds bourbon, I mean he does like it. Maybe it's sawdust, you never know - Gibbs' does have an iron stomach, he has to.

oOo

"Hey, Boss. . . what's your steak recipe?"

"Sometimes, I add a little beer when it's almost done."

"That's it?"

"Yeah. That's it, DiNozzo."

"Huh! Well, that's not too hard to remember."

"Nope. Are you done? Can we eat now?"

"Oh yeah, sure, Boss."


	18. Number 18

**Visit Bogie's grave.**

It seems that everytime I'm in Los Angeles and I think I have some down time to take the drive to the Forest Lawn Cemetary in Glendale an incident occurs, last time – the Director or traffic is so bad I can't make there and back in time.

Bogie is my number three hero after Steve McQueen and Gunther Gebel-Williams. I mean McQueen and Gunther were world class for riding motorcycles and elephants. (Not forgotten, animal taming) But Humphrey DeForest Bogart, man, he's the greatest male star in the history of American cinema.

See, people underestimated him. He was a poor student growing up but he was a lifelong reader. He could Plato, even thousands of lines of Shakespeare. He even read the _Harvard Law Review. _(I've been subscribing to _National Geographic_ since 1981) He worked hard. He played hard.

And. . . Lauren Bacall. The chemistry they have on-screen which transpired from _To Have or Have Not _to off-screen in another great match just like Tracy and Hepburn.

Someone once said of him, "His shafts were fashioned only to stick into the outer layer of complacency, and not to penetrate through to the regions of the spirit where real injuries are done. . . He is quite irreplaceable. There will never be another like him."

I suppose I would tell him, Thank you.

"_Now boarding, American Airlines Flight 581 to Los Angeles."_


	19. Number 19

**Discuss Paris.**

"We have much to discuss."

A chair rolls over. "Sit. Talk"

"Paris. . ."

A nod.

"The bottles of red wine, the lounging in the room, the bathrobes we wore for the night – food brought to us because we didn't want to leave the bubble our room provided. I mean, we were in Paris. So much food, coffee, and sights to see. That didn't matter. Paris was something special. We were there for one thing only, to bring someone home. . . It was reminiscent of an old undercover op. Except then we were pretending. This time we didn't have to. Sharing a bed even though we told others' someone took the couch. Come on, no hotel rooms left, it doesn't matter if it's true or not, right? I'd like to think this is would have still happened? Why can't we be honest? Are we afraid? Is it because of Rule #12? I didn't want to leave. But that wasn't reality. This is. This. Whatever we are now. Are we anything? Were we anything? Can we be something again? Or is it too late?"

"Tony. . ."

"Yeah, Abbs?"

"Tell. Her."

* * *

><p><strong>Let me know what you think. (I know you will)<strong>


	20. Number 20

**Give a motivational half-time speech. **

Just another Sunday afternoon in the park.

Except it's not. My friends' were here to play, so I brought my team. Five on Five. The whole gang is here even Ducky - though rather than play he's going on about the history of football from the sidelines. Franks' daughter-in-law and granddaughter were here, too. They were over at the swingset.

I had remind Ziva on the ride over here that she didn't need to tackle anyone from the other team because we were playing two-hand touch football. We both laughed about thinking McGeek playing football.

oOo

"Go strong, McGee."

McGee starts running. I have to yell, "Turn around" so he at least as an attempt to catch it. Yet, the ball goes right past him. Weirdly enough, Miss Abigail Scuito was there to catch the ball. Something I didn't see coming.

"Touchdown."

"Oh, Tony. That was my plan along." She high-fives Abby.

The whistle blows. Halftime.

I clear my throat. "Huddle up. . . Good half, guys. If I may. . . Let me tell you something, you don't let anyone, nothing, come between us. Now, I don't want them to gain another yard. We gotta go out there and we gotta take it. Take their game and you shove it right back in their face. That's how winning is done. You hear me. We can do this, it's our time. Now go out there and play like you've never played before."

"Give me the ball, DiNozzo."

"Boss?"

"The ball."

* * *

><p><strong>6 to go. . .<strong>

**Props to Friday Nights Lights and Remember The Titans. . . I wonder if Tony watches sports' movies. **


	21. Number 21

**Find Jimmy Hoffa, dammit.**

I liked to think that Jimmy Hoffa is living on a remote island somewhere. Who knows, maybe even in Italy like Gaspar Le Marque in _Ocean's Twelve._

I'm a seasoned investigator. I've read about the disappearance. And though I usually pawn off cold cases to Timmy and Ziva – this would be one I would glady take. Hmm. . . I wonder what Fornell knows.

In 1975, Hoffa had a lunch meeting 2:00 at restaurant in Bloomfield Township, Michigan. He was wearing a dark blue short-sleeve shirt, blue pants, white socks, and black Gucci loafers. (Gucci loafers? The man had style.) In 1982, he was legally declared dead.

Jimmy Hoffa has been said to be in any of these places:

- Hoffa's body was put in a 55-gallon steel drum and carted away in a Gateway Transportation truck. Picardo said he didn't know where it was taken.

- In New Jersey where it was mixed into the concrete that was used to construct the New York Giant's football stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

- Hoffa was said to have been buried in a 100-acre gravel pit in Highland, Michigan, which was owned by his brother William.

- Hoffa's body was encased in the foundation of a public works garage in Cadillac, Michigan.

- His remains were buried at the bottom of a swimming pool behind a mansion in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan.

- The corpse was ground up and dumped in a Florida swamp.

- Hoffa was crushed in an automobile compactor at Central Sanitation Services in Hamtramck, Michigan.

- His body was buried in a field in Waterford Township, Michigan.

- It was weighted down and dumped in Michigan's Au Sable River.

- Hoffa's remains were disintegrated at a fat-rendering plant.

- He was buried under the helipad at the Sheraton Savannah Resort Hotel, which at the time of his disappearance was owned by the Teamsters.

- His body was put in a steel drum and buried on the grounds of Brother Moscato's garbage dump, a toxic waste site in Jersey City, New Jersey.

I mean, it's crazy when the government officials know who is responsible for killing him. (If they actually did.) But they can't find the body or maybe they know but will never tell. I'm not worried about that.

I think NCIS would finally get some recognition if I found Hoffa. Although, I'd have to explain why I was looking for him. (I can deal with that later.)

* * *

><p><strong>Lovely what you can find on the interwebs. <strong>

**As always, thanks for reading. **


	22. Number 22

**Finish memoir.**

This idea started a long time ago, I'd say between the time I turned eight and my mother died. I thought writing down memories of my mother would help me deal with her death. Looking back, it's about the time my father took the path to self-destruction. I guess it shaped this idea.

Growing up, I wanted to chronicle the trips my father took me on, the fishing trip he took me on right after my mother passed then it was jet-setting to England, Long Island, Las Vegas, the south of France. Being left in a hotel room for a weekend, I watched movies and I'd say that's when my love for them began. So, I began writing lists of all the movies I've seen, the actors name, the years they were released, snippets of dialogue and fun facts I liked. I wanted to write down experiences from the boarding schools I was at, too.

The classified nature of the cases I worked in Baltimore forbids me to put certain information in my books, as does NCIS. Unless, I wanted to write about them, most things would be blacked out. But come on, getting things blacked out in a book is pretty bad ass. Maybe this memoir would skyrocket up _The New York Times _bestseller list. I can see the movie rights coming down the pipes, too.

I know that Gibbs would not want to be discussed in great detail. Although, some things will need to be said because he brought me into this job and showed me the ropes. I know Timmy wouldn't mind another 15 minutes of fame. Abby would happy to in the book, too. Maybe I can add some interesting stories from The Duck Man. There's a rabbit hole when you lose people from your family, like Kate and Jenny – it changes a man. It's not something that is easy to forget no matter how much you think you can drink it away.

A book isn't complete with the romance. Some relationships are not worth mentioning, some relationships, like Jeanne Benoit, were an actually undercover operations where someone gets hurt. Another, like Wendy, didn't work out because we wanted different things. EJ, well, she knew from the beginning it would never be a long term thing. Then there is Ziva David, my co-worker, my teammate who has my back, and the one who appreciates the way I appreciate movies. She'll always be in my life. (I suppose we have things to discuss.) That's for chapters to come later.

It's a work-in-progress, but what life isn't.

I think this is catchy! _Classified: A Memoir _by Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.


	23. Number 23

**Make cameo in the movie version of memoir. **

Some authors make cameo appearances in their movies; they sit at the counter of a diner or act as a doctor reading a chart in the hospital or dress up as a minister in a wedding ceremony or play guitar in band at a prom, serve the characters food at a restaurant.

Whatever clever cameo an author makes, you have to be on the lookout because if you blink you miss it. Some people don't know what an author looks like so it adds a little mystery with the reviewers if they catch it. Plus it gives you screen credit in the movie version of your memoir. And who doesn't want that?

Of course, since this film adaptation is based on my book – my life so I would like to that they would consult me, too.

I know the cameo role I want to make, I want to sit in the chair of the Director of NCIS. I have always wondered about that chair. I mean Morrow, Jenny and Vance all have the same chair, not to mention the same furniture. It has to be comfortable, I bet it would work wonders for my back. I wonder if I could request the chair I want to sit. I mean, the movie is based on me and my life, right?

In the immortal words of Norma Desmond in _Sunset Boulevard_, "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."


	24. Number 24

**Let friends get closer.**

I have friends I hang out with, play touch football on the weekends with, go out for the occasional drink with. But I don't call them when my TV gets a grainy picture and I need it fixed. I don't call them when I lose a member of the NCIS family. I don't call them when I get into situations when I'm forced kill someone. I don't call them when the girl I love the most doesn't call for three months and I can't find her. I don't call them when I need an escape plan. I don't call them to tell them when I have to leave the country for missions or when I am special tasked from the Secretary of the Navy. I don't call them when my father gets into trouble. And, I don't call them when I drink too much because my heart has been shattered into a million pieces.

Yes, they are friends. But sometimes after 10 years, the friends you once held dear become acquaintances. Their lives evolve; I still get the wedding invitations, the family Christmas cards and every other invitation necessary. Sometimes, I go to these events – sometimes, I don't. That's the life I don't have. Maybe I don't want it. I'm still undecided.

I've learned that I don't want to share everything with acquaintances. I need to let my friends, those I've come to regard as family, closer.

_Gibbs - _I don't have to say much to him, but he knows. In some ways I've become like him.

_McGee - _I can call him whatever I want; he's my partner, he's got my back, and (Shh! Don't tell him but he's like a brainiac brother I never knew I always wanted) we'll be friends for a long time.

_Ziva – _That's pretty obvious.

_Abby – _The happiest goth I know, I'd go to the ends of Earth for her. She's been my sounding board and she knows my secrets and still loves me.

_The Duck Man_ – Never judges. When he says, "Anthony", he means business.

_Palmer – _The autopsy gremlin, knows how I like my coffee. We can be closer.

Yup. I've evolved, grown-up over the last decade. Yet, I have a wall around me. I need to start taking it down. Starting now.

* * *

><p><strong>2 left. . . <strong>


	25. Number 25

**Try space tourism.**

"I'm on the list."

"What list? People to avoid, people who watch too many movies, people who need to grow up. I could on."

"Please don't. I'm on the waiting list for space."

"Don't you already live in space, Tony?"

"Haha, very funny. I made my deposit yesterday."

"Oh, you are serious."

"Of course, I'm serious Agent Dah-veed. This is a new adventure. The final frontier. To infinity and beyond. You know, all that."

"You're doing this because it sounds fun? When do you go?"

"I don't know. They are still working things out. They'll call me when it's ready to launch. . . I wonder what color space suits will have? I hope I don't get sick. I wonder what floating in space is like."

"So you paid a lot of money for something and you don't know when you're going."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"They could call early, you know. Maybe an asteroid is heading towards Earth and no deep-sea drillers are available. They may need you, Tony – to save this planet."

"I hope not. Tell me what you got."

"Sure thing. On it, Boss."

"And DiNozzo, just remember to hold onto something. We wouldn't want you floating away."


	26. Number 26

**A/N Mild spoilers for 9x13**

**The last one. . . **

* * *

><p><strong>Tell her. <strong>

"_You know, I'm gonna start charging your boyfriend minutes."_

"_Please tell me you have not spoken to Ray."_

"_Ok, I haven't spoken to Ray."_

"_Unbelievable, you're supposed to be on my side."_

"_Look, the guy's desperate. What am I supposed to do?"_

"_Stay out of it."_

"_Tell me what happened."_

"_He does not appreciate me. There."_

"_If I had a dollar for everytime a woman said that to me."_

"_When he was overseas, we stayed conncected as best we could. Trying to make whatever we had, just work and now he was finally back. . . and ahhh. . . and we planned this. . . this lovely dinner. But he never showed, Tony. I waited in the restaurant. Alone. For three hours. No text. No call. Nothing. Ahhh. When I saw him next, it was just the following morning, he just said he caught up with work."_

_I shook my head and interjected. "Well. . ." She just continued. _

"_It just brought me back to when I was young. How my father could be. There was always something more important. And I was always left waiting for. . ."_

Could I have told her then? Maybe. But it wasn't exactly the best time. She was upset and I did all I could not grab hold of her and wrap her in my arms. Maybe it was an excuse to touch her, maybe it was just a natural reaction when you see someone you care about so distraught.

Sure, I didn't really like talking to Ray about Ziva. I didn't want to hear about his plans with the whole proposal thing. But there's a guy code, you must adhere to. Was there a possibility she would say no? I think so. Seven weeks of nothing. But what can you do? The guy loved her. He made her happy, most of the time. Sometimes, you just have to deal with it.

oOo

"_So, why the shift?"_

"_Seeing Detective Buress. . . How much he still loves his wife. How he just wishes he had one more day with her. I don't want to live with regrets, you know."_

She was actually thinking about accepting. Did I like that idea? No, not really. Things needed to be said. Would it change the outcome?

I have regrets, everyone does. If they don't, they're lying. But not telling her, maybe the biggest one yet. Talking about things in the squad room would not happen. We had work to do. So telling her later, that was my only option.

oOo

Tell her _I can't live without her. _

Tell her _I'd die for her._

Tell her _I'd kill for her._

Tell her _I wished she got on the damn plane in Israel. _

Tell her _I am sorry for missing her citizenship ceremony._

Tell her _I don't care about the rules._

Tell her _when she smiles it makes my heart stop._

Tell her _she's my favorite leading lady._

Tell her _she makes movie nights better._

Tell her _she's my best friend._

Tell her _I want to kiss her. _

Tell her _I want to hold her and never let go. _

Tell her _I won't break any more promises. _

Tell her _I will prove myself. _

Tell her _I always have her back. _

Tell her _I appreciate her._

Tell her _she makes me happy. _

Tell her _I love her._

oOo

"Zee-vah, can I tell you something?"

"I suppose it depends on what you are going to tell me. It's unlike you to ask; usually you just blurt things out."

"Well, this is important."

"By all means, please share."

I took a deep breath and rattled off my list.

"Tony. . ."

"Yes."

"That's all? That's all you got."

I hang my head. "Yup."

"So, we're jumping then?"

"Feet first."

* * *

><p><strong>FIN <strong>

**"A man has to see things as they really are. After all, a man with responsibilities can't walk around with his head in the clouds all the time. Oh, a man should have his dreams, but a man has to learn to put those dreams to some practical use, not just sit around and think about them all the time." - - _Chitty Chitty Bang Bang _**

**Thank you all so so much for the reviews, alerts and for reading. **


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